When I found out I was pregnant, I started on a journey of maturing and learning. I researched EVERYTHING about pregnancy, labor, and babies. I learned so much. Many things that surprised me, many things that upset me, and many things I felt motivated to share with any preggo in sight! Mason is now 8 months old, and is the most wonderful baby ever! So, I wanted to share my humble opinion on what helped to make my baby so great. Don't get me wrong, I'm no expert, but I feel like he turned out pretty fantastic and these things definitely helped: 1. HOLD YOUR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! All day, everyday, for the first 6-9 months of life. Yeah, I know this sounds crazy and impossible, but it's not (however, I'm not sure how this would apply with multiples and or siblings close in age). Invest in a nice sling or baby Bjorn. Your baby is now your new appendage, so get use to it. Read The Vital Touch and/or The Continuum Concept these are my all time favorite baby books and they explain why holding your baby is so crucial. Basically, all babies are born premature because of our bipedal development, women don't have the bone structure to carry a baby in the womb more than 9-10 months. So, when baby comes out, it should be carried for the first 6-9 months to finish developing. People will tell you, "Aren't you worried you will spoil your baby?" NONSENSE! It's impossible to spoil a baby with unconditional love! And a baby has so many needs the first year of life, it's impossible to spoil them, period! Micah and I did this. It's not the easiest, but it sure felt right. After the first week, I was use to doing everything with Mason in tow. And sure enough, when he was 6 months and 1 day old, he started to crawl. He was done with his "in arms" phase.
2. BREASTFEED! Within the first hour of birth, baby needs to start breastfeeding. This hour is crucial for bonding between Mommy and baby. You will NEVER get this hour back. You can always wash, weigh and do all that other nonsense latter, but this first hour of life is for Mommy and baby to just be together and to start nursing! Baby just had to go through labor too, don't ya think he might be hungry?? Breastfeeding is the most natural thing and the best nutrition for baby. It's not easy! Please, find a book and read about it. The first few days are ROUGH. Sore, cracked, bleeding nipples, frustration with getting a good latch, being tired...oh so magical. But oh so worth it! (hint: for cracked, bleeding nipples- express some of your breast milk and rub it around the areola at every feeding. Fixed mine in a day! Aren't our bodies SO amazing!)
Babies don't make their own antibodies (the things that fight off cuties-our immune system) for the first 6 months of life! So, breastfeed for at least this long, otherwise baby is rather defenseless against illness. Breastfeeding provides baby with mom's antibodies through the booby milk, NO formula on the market has that! And if none of this resonates with you, just know that for every ounce of milk you produce, you burn 20 calories. So roughly 500 per day! It's like having a treadmill strapped to you! Easiest way to lose that baby weight :-)
3. CO-SLEEP/FAMILY BED- Do you like sleeping alone? I know I sure don't, so why would your brand new baby want to sleep anywhere other than right next to his mommy and daddy? I know, I know, "What if I roll over my kid and crush him!". Are you on drugs, drunk or taking sleeping meds? Then don't worry! You won't crush your baby! There have been no smothering cases that involved a completely sober person! Sleeping in the family bed is also a selfish thing for me, because I don't have to get up to feed at night, Mason stirs, I slide him to the boob, he eats and we fall back asleep, it's a beautiful thing! And nothing beats waking up to that adorable mug! I suggest everyone try it for at least a week, it's just another thing you have to get use to, but once you do, it's hard to imagine it any other way! The one caveat to this is if after a week or two, if nobody is getting good sleep and everyone is completely exhausted, then the family bed might not be for you and your family. BUT don't knock it till you try it!
4. KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AT THE HOSPITAL! I assume most Mommy's-to-be will be giving birth at the hospital. Not my personal preference, but to each her own. There are things that will happen at the hospital you MUST be aware of! Hospitals are a business too, so don't ever assume you and your child are completely safe. There are lots of good people in the medical field, but there are always bad ones that spoil the whole bunch. More than anything, hospitals are worried about lawsuits! Trust me, I worked in a hospital for 4 1/2 years, it's a business just like anything else!
First, like I mentioned before, the first hour of life is crucial, so let ALL your nurses and doc's know, you want that first hour alone with your kid. They can come back after an hour to do all they need to. If you end up with a c-section (I'm so sorry! It's the worst! Avoid it at all cost. Mine was horrible) it takes about 30-45 minutes just to stitch you up, so you must hurry back to your baby afterwards. Mason and I spent those last 15 minutes of his first hour of life cuddling and he began nursing. While I was being stitched, Micah was amazing and made sure Mason was being cuddled and held and that hospital staff did not do any unnecessary things to him.
Things to AVOID AT ALL COST-
HEP B VACCINE- standard for all newborns. Absolutely unnecessary!!! Heb B is contracted through sex and IV drug use...know any babies with these problems???? Heck NO! They give it to babies because they want to eradicate the virus and it's easier to vaccinate a baby who cannot refuse the vaccine than to get adults to come in and get vaccinated! Sorry, but don't you dare do that to my kid! Most kids will need this vaccine eventually for school, but you can wait till he is older, like 5-6 yrs, when he has a much stronger immune system! PLEASE, find a book about vaccines and learn about this subject. I read a couple books on the subject to get a well rounded perspective. It is controversial and really bugs me!
ANTIBIOTICS IN THEIR EYES- Do you have an STD? Then yes, let them put this in your kids eyes. If not, or if you had a c-section, tell them NO THANKS! it's unnecessary! Just another hospital protocol that doesn't apply to most babies.
INDUCTIONS- Babies are born when they are done cookin'! Don't get all controlling and pull that baby out before it's ready! "Due dates" should really be called "Guess Dates", because it is just a guess, and a poor one at that, since it is wrong 95% of the time!!! Most first time moms have their baby a week after their due date. So, if baby doesn't show up "on time", don't freak out, don't let the Doc's talk you into induction. Just relax and listen to your body. Nobody has ever stayed pregnant forever! Check out the movie Orgasmic Birth- it's fantastic and very empowering!
OK...I'll leave it at these. These are just my opinions, but I feel they are very justified and most Moms don't know that they have a right to make their own choices! DOCTORS AND NURSES are just PEOPLE, they make mistakes like the rest of us!!!! You are a mother and you know what is best for you and your baby! DOCTORS don't know everything! Their suggestions are not the end-all-be-all!!! Shop around for the right Doc or Midwife! Find someone who will listen to you and respect what you want. Be a "Momma Bear" and protect you and your baby from unnecessary protocols!
5. LEARN, READ, AND MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS!!!! This is the most important. These things are just my opinions. There are millions of other opinions out there, some good, some horrible. Just because your Mom, your Doctor, or your friend tells you something, DOESN'T MEAN IT'S A FACT! Use your critical thinking skills and decide for yourself. Take a childbirth class, even if it's your 1st or 10th baby, there is always something to learn. I took a Hypnobabies course, it was AMAZING! If you are ready to be a Mom, you need to learn about your body and what happens during labor! This is not the time to just "wing it".
When we stray from what is most natural, things get out of balance, so my views may seem "hippie" or "old school", but these things felt the most natural for me and I felt comfortable with my choices because I researched all the alternatives and decided that this was best for ME and MY BABY! Don't be pressured or scared into anything. Just because you are emotional doesn't mean you need to make a rash decision. Be an educated parent. You don't need a degree to do this. Knowledge is empowering.
I could go on and on about pregnancy, labor, and babies. There is so much out there and it is a bit overwhelming. But what ticks me off the most, is when women worry more about trendy maternity clothing and the color of their nursery than about the job they will do in 9 months. It also bothers me when women only listen to their doctors and never question their advice. I know more about labor than a MALE OBGYN after having gone through one pregnancy. That is something a man will never do! Listening to your instincts is what I want to stress. Your motherly instincts will take over, you just need to trust yourself.
This post is not meant to offend!!! Just my humble opinions! Take it for what it's worth. My hat goes off to parents of multiples, single Moms, and those who have children very close in age!!! You are truly amazing and my advice is probably pathetic compared to your knowledge. I have only one kid, but he is pretty amazing. The things I learned were so interesting, that I felt it was important to share this info. I hate when first time Moms are deprived of the advice they need. Good Mommy's are caring, loving, wise and selfless! If you are stubborn, uptight or controlling---beware! These characteristics will make motherhood and marriage tough! Only you can change yourself. It was hard for me to admit that I was far from perfect, but as I have matured, only good things have happened!
It seems like everyone I know is pregnant or has a baby, so these things are always on my mind. It just felt good to get it out!
Motherhood. The most amazing blessing in my life. Being a Mom is the most incredible thing and I am beyond grateful that my Heavenly Father has trusted me to watch over one of his beautiful little souls in this mortal life. I am so blessed.
